Had to say something...

ahh.. man... it's been such a long time since I wrote anything in my blog. Frankly speaking I really didn't had much to say. Mostly I write poems and things that matter to me emotionally.. but today I felt like writing something that is on my mind for some time. Don't really know where to begin with thou..

I've been thinking about going to a college here. Revive my studies and get a degree here.. It's been a long time since I've been in a class room.. I dont even remember how it feels like anymore.. I know that people who know that I have been thinking about this were a bit shocked because no one was expecting this. Well.. lets face it. Pakistani Qualifications doesn't mean crap here... It doesn't matter how much I know here, if I dont have a college degree from a canadian institute. I'll never really be good enough or QUALIFIED as the canadians say..

A few weeks ago I started checking out all the websites of some good colleges and universities here.. There are quite a few actually but the ones that are reasonable (Financially) are the ones I'll be heading toward. Because no matter what I do.. it's not really that cheap to get into college or universities, even if you are just reviving.. It will cost me about 5 to 7 thousand dollars to pay all of the fees and crap but right now I dont have that much money to spare. Even thou it's an investment I'm making in my future.. somehow my parents, specially my father is going to nag me to the point where I'll hate my self for even thinking about it.. Yeah... he has his ways of doing that.. I'm not entirely sure if the deadline I have in mind is reasonable enough but thinking of how important it is for me for my future.. I think I'll have to become a very reasonable/conservative spender.

What else?

Well.. there is this matter of the value of my job. Now thats another bloody issue I dont know how to deal with right now.. According to a few quite resourceful people, I've come to know that My Bacholar's Degree even if it is in Canada won't really give me much to play with... As there are a lot of people who have already been in those shoes and are currently doing other courses of completely different nature.. What a luck this is going to be if that is exactly what I'm facing... Why do I feel like I'm getting an Electric Chair for the punishment of being interested in what I'm interested in? Oh well.. isn't it always like that? Not for u maybe but mostly it's always this way for me.. I think God added too much of that potion when he was making me..

Critical Condition: If I dont see the point of reviving then what?

Hmm... now thats a question I should have asked my self before I even thought about reviving... Oh well.. too late...
The Logical answer to this question would be to find something of interest and high market value ( I sound like a nag now I guess ) and start up with that... But that means I'm gonna be stuck in college/uni for 3 years atleast! ahh... I guess I was right about the Electric Chair..

so what the hell am I going to do? As God is my witness, I have absolutely, with out a doubt.... NO IDEA!! Looks like I'm gonna just have to roll the dice here to see what happens.. Do I get an Electric Chair... Or do I get a good laugh after I'm done with this monstrocity.. Looks like I'll just have to jump in the pond to find out how deep it is...

Oh well.. feels a bit better now.. all this yapping might have finally been good for me if I just would have had some idea of why I started writing what ever I'm writing in the first place.. I think I better stop typing... I really should...

Oh, I just remembered... Aaack! Never mind..