Ah man. So much stuff happening. Business is growing and patience is growing too... Its growing thin. Why is it that those who have done something in life forget the fact that when they started out, they had the worst time to get to the point where it got easier. Just wondering.
"Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry."

Engaged, how weird is that?

Its been over two months that I've been engaged to the most amazing person i've ever known in my life. Kinda weird feeling to be honest. I didn't see my self as one of those guys who would ever propose to someone but I guess I am. I didn't even consider the possibility.... Yet.. Here I am.

I've known her for twelve years and I never ever considered that someday I will find myself wondering whether I can be without her. I never thought I would ever decide to spend the rest of my life with her. To me, she was always a stranger from the past that I met once, maybe twice. But now she has come out of my past to be my future. To become a major part of who I am.

Its funny how life turns around and pushes u into a completely unexpected direction. And all u can really do is just open your eyes and watch your own life change into a completely different organism all together. There were moments in my life that made me believe that I wasn't meant for love. I thought I wouldn't be one of those who find comfort being in someone's thoughts and dreams and reality. But here I am. Surrendering to the fact that I need her. I want her. I see my self becoming part of someone's life as she becomes part of mine. How weird is that? Funny thing... I like it.

I still have some questions in my mind. What will happen when she finds the locked but not forgotten door in my heart. The one that has nothing but dark and painful memories. The one that still bleeds through its cracks the sorrow that I have carried in me for decades. She knows about this door. She felt it. She knows that there is something behind it that should be left alone. I know someday she will ask me to open it. And when the flood of my suppressed past washes over my soul and leaves me completely naked. What will she say? I'm scared I guess.. For the first time in my life I'm scared of what someone will think, wiill feel, will see. She means so much to me. And I know that without her getting a glimpse into my past, she will never truly understand me. Knowing her, she would steal the key to this door with a smile. But will that smile be there when she finally unlocks and opens that door? I usually don't wish for things. But today, out of all the wishes in the world, I wish I could see the future.. How weird is that? How truly weird....

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.

My very first email

I was playin around with my phone and suddenly I decided to upgrade the applications. And now I'm just checking these new features that I've just noticed in this latest upgrade. Blackberry has certainly improved a lot for the storm users. I'm really happy with the upgrades. And I'm hoping this is gonna make things much easier for me so that I can easily work my blackberry storm to its full potential.

Most impressively, this blackberry has become an important asset of mine. Its my personal organizer. Its my task manager. It is my to-do-list keeper and it is my game console and of course it is my communication device . I didn't realize how good this tiny little machine is going to be for me when I bought it. And now, all I know is that it has certainly become an intricate part of my life and I seriously doubt myself living without it any time soon. This email was long overdue as far as I'm concerned because I've had this cell phone for over 4 months now and I think it truly deserves its praise.

Now whether or not you like the idea of using a blackberry to stay on top of your world, its your thinking. I simply love my blackberry storm. No doubts about it.


Thanks for reading the very first real blog entry of mine from my Storm.

Iffi.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

VID 00012-20090406-0159.3GP

Again. Checking something
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

The-monitor.jpg

This is a snap of the monitor I bought 2 months ago. The best deal I ever got on an electronic device. I paid $190 for a 23 inch wide screen monitor. Regular price is like 300+. Anyway. Couldn't be happier.
...........
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

This is a simple test.

I'm testing my cell to see if it allows me to post from my blackberry. It seems like a great idea, so let's see what happens.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Price of Freedom, Undefined.

Every man and every woman is worthy of freedom, but it comes with a price tag. We knew that ever since we understood that we exist. But should we completely understand this simplest of truth or should we understand the true price of freedom... now that's a question worthy of an answer from God himself...

Since the beginning of existence, there have been many civilizations that are now long lost to the passage of time. Every time frame has created a world of its own and then destroyed it. In many of these worlds that have come to a fall, there once were heroes and villains that guided or shaped the things to come. From them some of us learned a thing or two. Mostly what to believe, what to regret, and what to understand.. so that someday we may be the creators of the next world to come.

Freedom comes for the price yet undefined by man. In man's absolute bliss he would not dare look upon the world and wonder why it is the way it is. Nor will he ever consider to challenge the possibility of another form of existence. From his prospective, there simply is no reason to do so. Whether or not his existence provides a better life for himself or a better world for other, he is happy under his glued and decorated skin. He will look up at the sky and will not wonder why the clouds have formed, so dark and so loud. He will stand there as the air grows thicker by the minute and turns to a ice cold storm of hatred, demanding for the sacrifices drenched in blood. He will stand there without complain and let the razor sharp wind tear his skin apart. He will refuse the idea that it's not him that should bow down and surrender to this beast that challenges his entire being, to run away or to shield himself. He believes that it is the the winds that must change its direction and leave his perfect paradise as is. And then.. finally as he falls on his knees, defeated without even putting up a fight, he will become the witness of the truest form of freedom. Freedom from greed, freedom from lust, freedom from hunger and freedom from his own bliss. He is God's most perfect creation. He is Man.

Out of the ruins, Man stood up again. This man is the great inventor, he invented the means to communicate on a global level, to teach each other what man's history has done for man. He created artificial eyes focused at the heavens to occupy the mind with thoughts that someday we might find some answers not within us but from out there. He created a series of giant towers that rivaled the mountains and then he stood on top of towers to see for himself how small the world is. And then Man invented the greatest and most dangerous toy to play with. Powerful enough to destroy the entire world, and he tagged it "Only to be used if the world is not the way I like it". But not before he created machines that took role of the story tellers and entertainers. Giving us an imaginary view of the world around us as it has been created over the years. Just so that we wouldn't look away and realize what true reality looks like. Every day man sees something new on the television about the history of mankind and every day man get a glimpse of things that are yet to come. Everyday man learns of all those millions who died just to provide another means for man's mental evolution. And every day man see the possibility of billions who could die simply because he refuses to care. I wonder if those heroes of our pasts would consider us worthy of their work and their teachings. I wonder if the villains of our history will cry in sorrow when they see how far man has outgrown their own apatite for destruction of human souls.

In the last decade alone man has created more needs than resources for humanity to sustain it's own existence. You don't need to read the newspaper to tell if that's true or not. Just looking around should do it. Man created awareness for his naked savage brother who lived in bliss without the need of clothes to cover his body. Man showed his savage brother that it's a necessity to be clothed, to live with accessories that he considers essentials. Man gave his fellow man a sugar-coated freedom from savagery and absolute bliss for an undefined price. Slowly but surely, man created more needs and, on every single step of the way, provided his innocent fellow man an indisputably intense apatite to crave for more. And then he took away the means for him to obtain any of it. What a display of evolved intelligence. Giving birth to a new breed of heroes and villains. But all together different animals. Far more intelligent, far more greedy, far more cunning, far more resourceful, and far more hungry. All in all, a new Man is walking upon this earth, consuming what was left of the ruins of our past and what is meant for the future man.

As much as he should, he does not rattle my faith in whatever is left of this so-called humanity. I, an observer, still believe that there is some hope for this man. But when the time comes and the man finally dies, leaves behind his own legacy for the future observers to learn from, whomever will take his place is the man that troubles my thoughts. He is the man they will call 'the collector'. Because he is the man that will demand and collect the true price of freedom. Death.

Annie Lennox - Dark Road

Just listen to the words... it might not make sense the first time around... but it certainly makes a lot more sense when you understand the whole thing.

Working at Bell

new beginnings

Everything begins from a point and ends at a point.. now that could be a life, a race, a career, or a world... Recently I've come across a point in my life where I have been before. I'm not saying I never thought I'd be here again and yet I am... So what would be my next step, i ask myself. My answer, just like the last time, I don't know.

Things have changed quite a bit since the beginning of this year... funny thing is, I wasn't setting up a resolution at that time to do any of it. I'm not one of those who think that the beginning of a year means setting up priority or making promises to oneself to achieve something that has been out of our grasps... that's why I never make new year's resolutions when the clock strikes 12... At least not anymore... I have come to realize that I can decide when I want to make a change and what kind of change it's going to be... there is no time restriction on it... there shouldn't be... unless it's out of one's control.. Anyway... like I was saying... things have changed quite a bit.

Right now I own a few things that I didn't think I was going to buy... I'm working at a place where I never thought I was going to work. I'm doing a few thing that I never thought I was going to do. And... I achieved a few goals that I didn't think I needed to achieve. But now, I'm planning for things to come. The humor in this story is that all of this started without a reason and a plan... Now I know that there are quite a few people who would be reading this and thinking to themselves, what the hell is he talking about... but hey, by now you should know... I don't really care if you understand any of this. I'm writing this just for the heck of it... just to some day turn back and reflect on a few things.

Anyway... like I was saying.. I'm planning a few things... I've given myself a few targets to hit. Things that are suppose to be done. Things that must be done. And like always, I've given myself a time frame. Things are needed to be done by the end of that time frame or I would consider it a lost cause. Even thou it would translate to some degree of success, it wouldn't be worth its measure. Now this might sound a bit cruel but I do believe goals are meant to be achieved with complete devotion to the cause... there is no half way there or almost there... We are either there at the finish line or We are not... If you understand what I'm saying then live by that philosophy and you'll see success in anything you're working on... as long as you've given yourself the right time frame to achieve that goal.. I maybe passionate about my goals and yet I might take pride in achieving them but I'm also realistic and therefore optimistic. Without hope there is no reason to pursue anything and without reason there is no cause to have an effect.

That's really all I have to say for now... I'll update this blog in the future. But for now.. this should do.