The Blind Woman's Dreams

"Every cell in my body feels an undefinable pain... Oh so much pain... makes me wishing for a peaceful kiss of death.. And just when I feel the lava of my heart burning through my eyes, I see you. I feel you even more and more and that makes me weaker than you. You were once my strength, my pride, my reasoning.. you were once me. But now you're torn apart and I'm torn away.. How do you handle it all? I wish I could find a way to ask you that, but I know I wont. I wish could gather the strength from you, just enough to fight back and end this, once and for all, but I know I wont. I wish for so much for You to see. So much I wanted to show you.. but then God stopped listening. I don't ask anymore."

A Passage From her Diary "The Blind Woman's Dreams"

Is it worth it?

A thought has been teasing me for sometime now.. I dont know why I think this way but I do.. can't really help it. If I go to heaven someday and find that everyone that I ever cared for, ever loved, ever wanted to spend my time with... is not there and will never be... is it worth it... to stay there and be part of something so beautiful but without the people u cared for? why does this thought bother me so much.. I dont know.. but I do know.. if I dont see that there in the heaven... to me it's not worth it. I dont know if people would agree with me but then again... I never really gave a crap about that.